How and Why I Fucked Up My First Marathon by Not Listening to My Gut
The 1st of January. It is about zero celsius. Extremely sunny, no wind, no rain, no snow. Here it is — my self-organized one-person first-in-life marathon. I am running. Why? To prove I can do it, to make something I had never done before. I already did a similar thing last year by running my first half-marathon on the first of January. And I felt great. It was such a wonderful beginning of the year.
So what has happened this year? I have a couple of ideas. I am going to write it down for the future myself, who, no doubts, in a while will start planning something crazy again.
I had the wrong motivation
I was proving myself I am the same crazy “can realize any stupid idea coming to my mind” person. Ideas like running a marathon out of nothing, hitchhiking across the US with nearly a stranger, walking one of the Comino de Santiago trail with no rest and, compared to my previous zero pilgrimaging experience, crazy pace, biking through the hilly Nothern Italy for a couple of weeks dragging all my stuff with me including a TENT. I mean, I am so lucky that my close ones support and even participate in all those silly adventures, but this is getting insane.
I did enjoy those adventures. But at the same time, I realize that being aware of the reasons and goals brings a presence to the moment. It also guides me so that the experience is appreciated with care to my body and my mind.
I was not physically prepared
To be honest, I thought it would be easier. The trail which was mostly asphalt surface was bad for my knees and after about 30km I started to experience sharp pain. The cold was not good for knees either. Because of the pain, I was so looking forward to the moment when I am done to be able to just walk or sit. Then, eventually, I finished my run and sat down on my sofa. And you know what? It hurts even without a motion! And it is not like “I am after a workout and my muscles are tired”. No. My bones hurt, my whole body hurts. I literally harmed myself purposely. All those “symptoms” prove I was not physically ready for the marathon. And I am lucky it had not led to any serious injury.
I had over-expectations about the results
Not sure what I wanted to feel afterward. A relief or a wave of motivation? I wanted it just to feel right. I just wanted it to be a great beginning of the new year. It turned out I overestimated the outcome and underestimated the amount of time and effort which was required to invest in a thing like a marathon.
So, next time let’s consider the following questions (which btw could be applied before any bigger investment of yourself in anything):
What is my motivation? Is it about status or will it really help me move where I want to be? Do I really want it or is it something that I want myself to want?
Is the level appropriate for me? What level feels like challenging but still acceptable enough to fell great after? Consider physical, emotional and financial aspects. This will help to minimize risks.
If I go for it, what do I need to be prepared (or get as closer to it as possible)? What amount of time and energy will it take? Consider if the investment is worth it. Also, realize what will be probably sacrificed or missed in order to allocate enough time and energy for the preparation.
Such a simple thought on where to invest your energy and time in and where not to. Future Me, please, be wiser and kinder to yourself. Take your time to realize how you truly feel about an idea. Often, its source and agenda are not what they seem to be, and somewhere deep inside you already know that.
